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WHAT IF?

Jackie Hirons

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For as long as I can remember I have dealt with anxiety and OCD, and at times minor clinical depression. Even though I had a support team, I felt alone, as in different and weird. I wanted to be “normal.” I didn’t want to be the lab rat or the person remembered as the girl who ran to the clinic every morning or the girl who was too scared to do anything–to live. So, I did something about it, I sought help, and help it what I got. I don’t know that I could share these images today if I hadn’t gone to therapy and learned to deal with myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not 100% cured. I actually don’t think that’s possible. But I have learned what coping mechanisms work for me, how to talk myself through my anxiety and OCD, and learned that it’s okay to discuss. 

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I was fortunate enough to have the most supportive and helpful parents to help me pull through and get me to where I am today. While I do give lots of credit to them, I need to also thank the therapists that I had, and myself, because when it comes down to it, I am the only one who can make a change and control myself. I made What If? my senior art show for those who are like me, whether exactly, or someone who has some other mental of physical illness that makes them feel like an outcast. This is my story, and I want it to help others.

The process was difficult. I wanted to create something that showed what I had been through, minimized the concept metaphorically to show that these feelings and thoughts are manageable, but make sure they had a powerful impact all at the same time. I decided my best bet would be to pick my four most feared thoughts, choose a body part where it would be implemented, and choose a cohesive color palette to unite all of my fears as one story while also allowing them to stand alone.

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Intimacy

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Addiction

Harm

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Guilt

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ARTIST BIO

 Jackie is a compassionate, thoughtful person. The most compassionate that I know. No matter her feelings or circumstance, she puts others first. Sometimes this is her downfall, but more times than not it is her blessing. She wears her heart on her sleeve and wants to share kindness with others. She welcomes those who meet her and tries to relate in any way she can.

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 When her anxiety started, her personality at home was timid. She tried not to let it show around others, but at home is where she was her true self. She was scared. As she grew up, she grew into herself and learned to manage it. It was probably one of the proudest accomplishments of hers. There were school awards, or small life feats, but her learning to deal with what some may call a weakness is what made her strong.

 

She treats others with respect and compassion because she understands that you don’t know what people are going through behind closed doors. This show is her way of sharing her story and epitomizes her growth. I know she will do great things. 

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